Ridiculous Riding at Rackham

The day dawned clear and sunny for Rackham Horse Trials. By 8am, the event was already busy; grooms scurrying to and from various tents and arenas, horses leaving dewy hoof prints in the grass as they weave back and forth, performing various dressage movements, riders inspecting the fences they would be expected to tackle later on...

The scene was not quite as serene back home. In fact, I was blue in the face and about to call quits on the whole day because a perfectly stud sizes stone was lodged in Squirrel's shoe and my dad had to cancel his attendance because the cat needed antibiotics. That's fine I said, I've passed my HVG, I can take myself.

The whole yard was aghast. Maybe due to the fact my car is more dent-shaped than car-shaped. What about when you fall off and hurt yourself? Who will take care of the horse?  When?! I said haughtily, pointedly trying to hide my limp from my latest unscheduled dismount.

As it was, I set off on time. The fact I didn't do half the items on my to-do list (exercise young horse in prep for sponsored ride the next day being one of them..) is irrelevant, I left on time. Using my better judgement,  I decided to ignore the directions given to me by various more life-experienced people and set off, my phone shouting directions whilst tied in place to keep it charging.

Unfortunately, what I didn't predict, my phone did not realise I was in a lorry. A fairly large lorry. A lorry certainly not capable of going down roads narrower than 6 foot 6 inches. After taking out half a tree (Squirrel enjoyed the foliage that rained upon him) and bending my mirror completely out of place (more luck than judgement that I didn't take out any pedestrians for the rest of the route), I stopped in a pub carpark to gather my thoughts. Ignoring the urge to run into the pub with Squirrel in tow (trust me that horse can drink me under the table....but that's a story for another day), I figured out my route.

Eventually. Three agonising hours after setting off, I pulled into the Horse Trials. Ahhh I sighed happily, wiping sweat off my brow. Made it. I was greeted by a friend who incredibly generously came directly from her flight back from Portugal to keep me company (I owe her beer for life), gleefully telling me that all the horses were lame and the riders were all worse than her.

Apparantly, what I did not expect, was for her idea of "groom" to involve making helpful comments like "Fucking hell, you're jumping that?! You're going to die. What if he puts his feet down in the middle of that big spread, won't he fall over?  This is awful. LOOK AT THAT DITCH. You're going to die" and feeding Squirrel breakfast biscuits for energy ("They've got oats in them!") between phases.

For a change, I had a plan. I realised at Mattingly that if I trot aimless circles in the dressage warmup, my horse will amble aimlessly around the dressage arena. So I followed my usual at home warm up. Unfortunately, Squirrel has not mastered the art of long and low at a competition so instead I felt like I was riding a llama, but you can't win them all. I earned some suspicious looks from spectators when attempting to do my canter travers, but he felt pretty on point.

The test was okay. Obedient. The only real errors were the trot to walk and trot to halt transitions, where he took me slightly literally and pretty much collapsed. Unfortunately, this test contained 4 of them. But I didn't go wrong and we stayed in the arena during the give and take so I call it a success.

"Next time I'm using proper spurs, not ones with rubber wheels on," I complained bitterly as I left the arena."He's so lazy!" Unfortunately when I retrieved my test sheet, it appeared my 34.5 (sniff, we used to get 28s, I remember, in our days of glory) was more due to me having the accuracy of a 5 year old with a colouring book. Horse 1 Me 0

The less said about the show jumping, the better. I jumped fence one okay, then pretty much put Squirrel in a choke hold for the rest of the course, adding a stride to the related distance, adding a stride in the double, deciding he wasn't going to number number 9 so I almost fell off when he did....Miraculously all the poles stayed up. I left the ring with my face hidden, apologising profusely to my horse and suggesting he runs off and loads into a pro's lorry if he wants decent riding. Horse 2 Me 0.

Ah cross country. What its all about. As the ten second count down began,  I wizzed Pea-brain up, as usually, to try and coach some enthusiasm into him, and he bounded out the start box. Fence one came in his stride, as did fence two, although we were drifting suspiciously left on each approach. Now, now, that won't do, I said, there's skinnies later on. My attempt at keeping him straight involved burying him into the bottom of the lovely hedge that wanted steeplechasing. We had a lovely, joyful canter through some woods before being met by a log and some mushrooms on the way out.

Oh, jump? Said Squirrel. Uh yes JUMP I said, riding like a maniac. Then felt like a pro because I remembered to keep my elbows close to my sides to channel him for the skinny two strides out. Pop, pop.

Next was a big gappy spread. (The "What if he puts his legs down in the middle of it" fence.) At the time, I replied Oh its a nice gallop fence.  Did I gallop it? Did I hell. I held, and I held and I show jumped it and it was awful. Next was the sunken road. On the approach I remembered how I braked too hard for it at Mattingley and he stopped at the top before popping down without stepping back.

This time when he stopped a couple of strides out, I thought oh its ok, he hasn't gone back. He went sideways. Oh that's okay, he hasn't gone back. Then he went back. "First refusal" Oh damn  I said, I suppose I ought to try riding.

So I did and we slithered down it on the far left, meaning a sharp right hand turn (read; Haul at the mouth), to jump out and over the log at the top. Now another nice woody bit. Oh a roll top. Lets hold into it. Hold hold hold. Awkward jump. Oh it must of been those people over there  I thought, always blame the horse.

Next came the coffin. Roll top going in (hold hold hold hold), big jump over the ditch, oh crap I can't get the curving line to the angled hedge, better kick. So I did and he answered and pinged it. Up a little mound to a log (hold hold hold), scrambled over it, nice and steady down the mound, closed my legs for the skinny and yay got it.

Then came the water. I carefully lined up for the house preceding it, riding the exact line I planned. Hold hold hold. Oh fuck he stopped. Oh yeah. He does actually need riding. Keep telling him to stop and even the most generous horse in the world will get fed up. So  I gave myself a mental slap and popped over it, through the water and over the house the other side.

I managed to stop holding (Quite so much) and he got a little close to the trakhner, then a lovely jump over a hedge, held a little into the next roll top but not too bad, then it was my nemesis of the course.

I'm entered for Upton House Novice. Last time I went round there,  I had a run out at the right handed corner. We've jumped every other corner we've ever attempted perfectly, but being entered for that, I've decided we can't jump corners. To make it worse, first we had to go down two steps then it was on a curving, downhill line from there. Because it was a tricky fence,  I figured I should ride properly, so he popped down the steps sweet as you like, I closed my right elbow, channelled him through my legs and he jumped it beautifully.

Last two fences were easy, and it was over too soon.

So basically; in short; 1. I need to learn to ride 2. My horse deserves a better rider 3. I'm going to learn to ride and go break my neck trying to do a novice.


On a serious note; I felt very blessed tonight when I put my pony in his field. We had a cuddle and I breathed in his soft Squirrelly smell, and I acknowledged how very lucky I am to have such a fabulous horse. He's kind, he's generous, he's funny as hell and he's my very best friend.

Hypnotherapy , foam rollers and Equgility

So on Wednesday I had my first hypnosis session.

We mainly chatted about my life - didn't realise we would have to go into the gory depths of my childhood which was quite uncomfortable! But it was to give her a better idea of what kind of screed to use. I'm actually doing a distance learning course in Hypnosis and psychotherapy so it was very interesting to see it properly in practise.

She performed a short hypnosis on me, a more general confidence building and relaxation one, and I do have to admit I've been pretty mellow since! Next week  I will have a more riding orientated one. I have to admit, despite studying it and knowing how relaxing it is, I'm still not 100% convinced that it can actually change thoughts and behaviours so well, but apparently it does so what have we got to lose?

My foam roller also arrived (a piece of the equipment for the fitness plan I have) and jesus I'm in love with it. If you turned up unannounced at my house you'd probably get a bit of a shock finding me contorted in some strange position with an expression of pure pain on my face but oh my god. I've had a back ache for the last few days and literally did less than 5 minutes work and its gone! Bit stiff this morning but I'll do some stretches and some more rolling before I start on my day.

I was busy backing a lovely young dressage horse on Wednesday, got back to my car to find 5 missed calls from my sponsor - Ruth Mawer from Equigility  who treats my horse's muscles. I'd forgotten they had a treatment! Both were in fantastic shape which is great news as Lexi was getting quite sore through her back, but Ruth felt she's getting much stronger.

Tomorrow we're off to Rackham horse trials to compete in the BE100; we're HC as Sunday when the open section is, I'm off with a friend to the New Forest for a sponsored ride to show the feral one some sights and sounds.

Back in business!

Hopefully going to get this blog going a bit more consistently now.

Quick low down of the last few months;

• Went to Munstead, had a disaster with several stops
• Went to Elmwood, great dressage, great SJ, two stops xc. Lexi also went and did a brilliant first event apart from an upset at the water
• Had his hocks treated with steroids and tildren; hello new horse!
• Went to Mattingly unaffiliated and jumped a great double clear to finish 7th

So, I've had a chat with my trainer and we have plans...big ones...Called Aldon 1*

I've decided to throw the book at it.

In the long term, I'm going to struggle to keep Squirrel BE eventing sound. The tildren is £900 a pop and by the end of the season he'll of had 3 treatments. Next year  Lexi will be doing more, and just the time and expense of two horses competing affiliated is difficult.

So this is the last year I'll be competing Squirrel BE. If he makes it to Aldon, he'll never outdo that. If he doesn't, then he never will. There's no point really in me competing him in BE100s as he has to do the opens so can't do qualifiers ect, I may as well save a bit of money and stress and play with him unaffiliated at a lower level where his hocks can cope without as much help.

So I'm giving it everything I've got.
I've changed his diet, put him on every supplement known to man kind, weekly lessons, extra physio and chiro. Magnet hock boots, daily massages from my equissage pad...

The buck doesn't stop with him though.
I'm having a few hypnosis sessions (first one today!) to help with my mental block regarding novice and sports psychotherapy. I'm focusing on my own health; clean eating, running so I don't end up dying after fence 4 cross country, lunge lessons, a special equestrian athlete training plan to make me stronger and more balanced, enough sleep, sports massage, chiro....everything

My theory being; if we don't make it, at least I tried as hard as I possibly can. And if I get the opportunity to ride this horse in top hat and tails, that will be a dream come true.


I think it will be very interesting to see the results of this so I'm going to blog carefully and consistently to observe what works and what doesn't make much difference.

My biggest obstacles are hours in the day but hey ho.


In other news, I now part own a once feral black welsh cob who is being produced for sale. We've had a few hiccups along the way, but he's now ticking along nicely.  I've also passed my HGV so the sky is the limit! Now I ought to stop chatting and get on with things..