Horrible feeling about today

After another bad run at Goring Heath, Squirrel is currently at the vets for a thorough work up.

And I don't think the answer is going to be a good one. I have such a horrible feeling the end for us is here.

I hope I'm over reacting but...my little wonder horse doesn't stop.

I bet its going to be something like navicular or worse and this is the end. Or something really bad which will lead to him being PTS or something.

I am a serial worrier and hopefully its nothing like that but god it feels like it will be. It really does.

And if it is, what will I do? Can I  carry on with horses if he's finished?

I don't know. If I don't I have nothing in my life but he is everything. He's more important to me than anything in the world, I cannot express it. The minute I see him my day lights up. I miss him right now purely because I overslept and didn't get to do the horses this morning (Jason did them as I had to rush to work).

I havn't bonded with Lexi, and I know its because of him. Because no horse will ever match up to my goofy, generous, kind Snozzle.

I suppose I would carry on, because he took me here. I owe him for everything my life is today. Absolutely everything.